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In this article I share with you how to refocus your energies to gain a realistic perspective so you can stay in a happy, care-free blissful state and out of the judgmental self-critical mind. First I’ll share with you how our mind typically works because of our upbringing and conditioning and then I’ll share with you how you can break free from that limited conditioned view so you can step in a mindset that allows you to focus and meet your goals.
Many of us have self-criticizing filters that keep us from perceiving reality the way that it’s supposed to be. Many of us feel overburdened by our mind’s worst thoughts. And it’s these self-criticizing thoughts that do the worse damage to us. However, we tend to forget that there are two sides to everything. And many of us, instead of looking at the positive as well, get bogged down in the negative. This leads to depression and sadness and all other types of self-defeating behaviors that don’t serve us.
How to overcome this?
The answer is simple. Re-shift your focus and own the new focus.
What does this mean?
I’ll share with you an example of something that I do that helps me stay positive and feeling cheerful, upbeat, and successful. Whenever I have a negative or self-defeating thought about myself or someone else I immediately switch the focus to something more positive. And then whatever I’ve focused on that is positive I embrace it and own it fully. I’ll give you an example to make it more clear.
When I give speeches, or I’m engaged with a client as soon as I have self-defeating thoughts such as, “Was this client thinking about me?” Or, “The audience probably thinks I’m really bad.” I stop and readjust my focus. Notice those thoughts aren’t about the audience or the client. They’re focused around me. They’re self-serving and narcissistic. All of our worst mental ailments start because we’re too focused on ourselves and not serving others. If I’m nervous and worried about how I’m appearing to the audience then I’m thinking about myself and not about giving them the best most mind-blowing speech of all time. When you reshift your focus onto the object of focus itself all your self worry, anxiety, and criticism naturally falls away. People struggle for years doing affirmations and all types of self-hypnotic techniques to get themselves to overcome their mental blocks. Notice the focus. It’s on THEIR mental blocks. You have no blocks you’re just focusing on the wrong thing. Stop thinking about yourself and shift your focus to serving others and how your engagement or product can best serve that person. Ironically, when you do this all worry and fear will naturally fall away and you’ll find yourself in a state where you are so enraptured and consumed by the other that this anxiety doesn’t even come to the surface.
The technique is simple. Focus all your attention on others and not yourself. Anytime you start getting worried about how you’re coming across or what others might be thinking of you, stop! Refocus and shift your attention back to the object of your focus. Naturally, your self-defeating and anxious thoughts will die because what you don’t give your attention towards always naturally dies.
Now go out there. Focus on the world as much as you can. And change and transform your life!